Anchors - How we help ourselves focus

Anchors commonly hold ships, stop them drifting. Emotional anchors are similar, in that they can stop us drifting and help us focus.

My personal anchors are sometimes physical, sometimes mental/emotional. Lack of an anchor for me manifests as a restlessness, not being able to settle to something, avoiding contact with myself.

Why would I do that?

That voice in my head, which drives my procrastination,

• “You’ve worked so hard this week, you deserve a break."
• “You might be more productive after a cup of tea.”
• “You could always give Angie a call, she’s always motivational.”
• “Oh look, there’s that new catalogue, you haven’t read it yet.”
• “You’re so tired.”

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​And then there’s the other voice,

• “You don’t have the stamina for this.”
• “Your writing isn’t that good anyway.”

 
I’ve pretty much cracked the second voice, except for the occasional really bad day. My writing is good, my creative ideas work well and I get good feedback from my workshops. But that first voice, seductive, offering treats and stroking the ‘poor me’ part (tired, overwhelmed, needing little encouragement to give up), she is a piece of work!

I wonder who she’s modelled on? I’ve come to the conclusion that she came into being when I was a kid with an alcoholic father and an enabling mother. Distraction was definitely the way to go then, to avoid the feelings of terror and panic, because no one was holding boundaries and life wasn’t safe. Although my Mother tried.

So now I know when that distracted part began to grow. I find knowing where the behaviour is rooted helpful. This knowledge helps me to create a picture of how old I’m feeling when I’m avoiding connecting and I can be compassionate, which is much better than being critical.

This avoidance is a part of my process at the moment and in the end I settle down to write, to connect and the answers begin to flow from my soul, through my heart, down my arm, through the tip of my pen and onto the paper. Which holds me.

So what are my anchors?

• To write in the same place every day - familiar and safe.
• To begin with the promise of writing for just five minutes - not overwhelming.
• To create a mind map if I’m stuck - once I get going the writing flows.
• To get ideas onto individual pieces of paper - the paper holds the ideas, not my brain.

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​Developing anchors that work, needs kindness and understanding of your own process, so that you can have compassion and personal boundaries. Find ways for yourself that feel doable, safe and kind. 

Our emotional anchors build strength and stamina, over time, the more we practice. A bit like building muscle at the gym.

So you can explore what you need with kindness.

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