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HeartWrite

My Everyday Inspirations

Anchors - How we help ourselves focus

5/2/2019

 
Anchors commonly hold ships, stop them drifting. Emotional anchors are similar, in that they can stop us drifting and help us focus.

My personal anchors are sometimes physical, sometimes mental/emotional. Lack of an anchor for me manifests as a restlessness, not being able to settle to something, avoiding contact with myself.

Why would I do that?

That voice in my head, which drives my procrastination,

  • “You’ve worked so hard this week, you deserve a break."
  • “You might be more productive after a cup of tea.”
  • “You could always give Angie a call, she’s always motivational.”
  • “Oh look, there’s that new catalogue, you haven’t read it yet.”
  • “You’re so tired.”
​
​And then there’s the other voice,

  • “You don’t have the stamina for this.”
  • “Your writing isn’t that good anyway.”
 
I’ve pretty much cracked the second voice, except for the occasional really bad day. My writing is good, my creative ideas work well and I get good feedback from my workshops. But that first voice, seductive, offering treats and stroking the ‘poor me’ part (tired, overwhelmed, needing little encouragement to give up), she is a piece of work!

I wonder who she’s modelled on? I’ve come to the conclusion that she came into being when I was a kid with an alcoholic father and an enabling mother. Distraction was definitely the way to go then, to avoid the feelings of terror and panic, because no one was holding boundaries and life wasn’t safe. Although my Mother tried.

So now I know when that distracted part began to grow. I find knowing where the behaviour is rooted helpful. This knowledge helps me to create a picture of how old I’m feeling when I’m avoiding connecting and I can be compassionate, which is much better than being critical.

This avoidance is a part of my process at the moment and in the end I settle down to write, to connect and the answers begin to flow from my soul, through my heart, down my arm, through the tip of my pen and onto the paper. Which holds me.

So what are my anchors?

  • To write in the same place every day - familiar and safe.
  • To begin with the promise of writing for just five minutes - not overwhelming.
  • To create a mind map if I’m stuck - once I get going the writing flows.
  • To get ideas onto individual pieces of paper - the paper holds the ideas, not my brain.
​
​Developing anchors that work, needs kindness and understanding of your own process, so that you can have compassion and personal boundaries. Find ways for yourself that feel doable, safe and kind. 

Our emotional anchors build strength and stamina, over time, the more we practice. A bit like building muscle at the gym.

So you can explore what you need with kindness.
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What is HeartWrite?

6/11/2018

 
The HeartWrite blog is a work in progress and putting myself out there can feel challenging. However, as I launch myself into the world as a blogger and creative writing for wellbeing facilitator I am putting on my big girl pants and ’going for it’. Good to say it out loud!

I am a passionate woman. Some of my passions are driven by joy and some of them are driven by fear masquerading as anger. ‘HeartWrite‘ is about those passions driven by joy.

I care so much about the environment, animal rights, human rights, equality, social justice and I despair at so much when I look at the world. That doesn’t help me to stay in a positive mental space.

So I boost my constitution by giving time to write about positivity, nature, love, poetry, writing, self development, my family and my dogs, supporting my own personal development and hopefully, letting you see that you can support your own mental health by picking up a pen and writing from your heart and your truth - hence ‘HeartWrite’.

I feel that most of my passion has to be joy based and nurtured into growth, so that I don’t get overwhelmed by those passions driven by fear for this stunningly beautiful world we live in.

In order to help those in need I have to take care of my needs first, so that I can stay strong and be true to me, staying away from self-righteousness, ranting and burn-out.

Then overwhelm sets in and I look for distraction in box sets, Facebook and at times, gin. There is very little deep nurturing satisfaction in a box set, so then I get the munchies and start rummaging around for snacks in the larder. And then, hello, ‘guilt ‘ rocks up and on we go until I’m left feeling fat, worthless, depleted and tired.
There is NOTHING wrong with box sets, gin and snacks and if you are locked into a cycle of rage/distraction/guilt, the chances of you feeling good about your life are fairly slim. The chance that you will feel depressed, anxious or have some other mental health issue is fairly high.

So, why not try writing your way out of overwhelm and into a bigger awareness of what your life could be? The beauty that surrounds you, the joy of warmth or whatever else ‘floats your boat’?

What do you have to lose...................


‘’If you want to change YOUR world, pick up your pen and write’’ - modified quote from Martin Luther King who said “If you want to change the world, pick up your pen and write”. Both can be true.
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    Jacqui Smith, writing for wellbeing tutor in Berkshire UK

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