My Everyday Inspirations
Anchors commonly hold ships, stop them drifting. Emotional anchors are similar, in that they can stop us drifting and help us focus.
My personal anchors are sometimes physical, sometimes mental/emotional. Lack of an anchor for me manifests as a restlessness, not being able to settle to something, avoiding contact with myself.
Why would I do that?
That voice in my head, which drives my procrastination,
And then there’s the other voice,
I’ve pretty much cracked the second voice, except for the occasional really bad day. My writing is good, my creative ideas work well and I get good feedback from my workshops. But that first voice, seductive, offering treats and stroking the ‘poor me’ part (tired, overwhelmed, needing little encouragement to give up), she is a piece of work!
I wonder who she’s modelled on? I’ve come to the conclusion that she came into being when I was a kid with an alcoholic father and an enabling mother. Distraction was definitely the way to go then, to avoid the feelings of terror and panic, because no one was holding boundaries and life wasn’t safe. Although my Mother tried.
So now I know when that distracted part began to grow. I find knowing where the behaviour is rooted helpful. This knowledge helps me to create a picture of how old I’m feeling when I’m avoiding connecting and I can be compassionate, which is much better than being critical.
This avoidance is a part of my process at the moment and in the end I settle down to write, to connect and the answers begin to flow from my soul, through my heart, down my arm, through the tip of my pen and onto the paper. Which holds me.
So what are my anchors?
Developing anchors that work, needs kindness and understanding of your own process, so that you can have compassion and personal boundaries. Find ways for yourself that feel doable, safe and kind.
Our emotional anchors build strength and stamina, over time, the more we practice. A bit like building muscle at the gym.
So you can explore what you need with kindness.
The HeartWrite blog is a work in progress and putting myself out there can feel challenging. However, as I launch myself into the world as a blogger and creative writing for wellbeing facilitator I am putting on my big girl pants and ’going for it’. Good to say it out loud!
I am a passionate woman. Some of my passions are driven by joy and some of them are driven by fear masquerading as anger. ‘HeartWrite‘ is about those passions driven by joy.
I care so much about the environment, animal rights, human rights, equality, social justice and I despair at so much when I look at the world. That doesn’t help me to stay in a positive mental space.
So I boost my constitution by giving time to write about positivity, nature, love, poetry, writing, self development, my family and my dogs, supporting my own personal development and hopefully, letting you see that you can support your own mental health by picking up a pen and writing from your heart and your truth - hence ‘HeartWrite’.
I feel that most of my passion has to be joy based and nurtured into growth, so that I don’t get overwhelmed by those passions driven by fear for this stunningly beautiful world we live in.
In order to help those in need I have to take care of my needs first, so that I can stay strong and be true to me, staying away from self-righteousness, ranting and burn-out.
Then overwhelm sets in and I look for distraction in box sets, Facebook and at times, gin. There is very little deep nurturing satisfaction in a box set, so then I get the munchies and start rummaging around for snacks in the larder. And then, hello, ‘guilt ‘ rocks up and on we go until I’m left feeling fat, worthless, depleted and tired.
There is NOTHING wrong with box sets, gin and snacks and if you are locked into a cycle of rage/distraction/guilt, the chances of you feeling good about your life are fairly slim. The chance that you will feel depressed, anxious or have some other mental health issue is fairly high.
So, why not try writing your way out of overwhelm and into a bigger awareness of what your life could be? The beauty that surrounds you, the joy of warmth or whatever else ‘floats your boat’?
What do you have to lose...................
‘’If you want to change YOUR world, pick up your pen and write’’ - modified quote from Martin Luther King who said “If you want to change the world, pick up your pen and write”. Both can be true.
What attracts us to role models and how can we use the information about that attraction for our own self-development?
I contemplate women who might fit the billboard of ‘role model’ and my mind rests on Rosa Parks - thought of by many as ‘The ‘Mother’ of the American civil rights movement’.
I first found out about Rosa when I was in my Monday evening choir singing a song about her. Some of the words were as follows,
Oh Rosa Parks, she would not stand for the white folk.
Oh Rosa Parks, she would not stand on the bus.
Ooh what a difference that woman made,
Oh what a difference that woman made.
When I sang that song all the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. That experience became a somatic memory, which I have never forgotten.
Rosa Parks was arrested on 1st December, 1955 for failing to stand and give her seat to a white man. She fought through the courts, all the way to the high court, in the USA, where the judge ruled that it was indeed unconstitutional for a coloured woman to be expected to stand and give up her seat for a white person.
What I didn’t realize, and I wonder if you do, is that there were several women before Rosa who would not ‘stand on the bus’?
Irene Morgan 1946
Lillie Mae Bradford 1951
Sarah Louise Keys 1952
Claudette Colvin and Ruth Hamilton 1956 (Two of four women involved in the Browder vs Gayle lawsuit)
All these women were brave, defiant, stubborn, determined and proud to stand up for equality. What is less well known is that Mr. E Nixon , at the time president of the National Association for the Advancement of Coloured People, NAACP, was driving the Rosa Parks case through the courts, because Rosa was seen to be a respectable example of a coloured woman. Mr. Nixon’s attitude to women in general was that of ‘’Women don’t need to be nowhere but in the kitchen’’. He did however value Rosa highly as his secretary. What irony to have that level of discrimination against women, whilst fighting for the equality of civil rights for coloured people against whites.
I think all the people in this story wanted to walk through their lives making eye contact with the world. I would imagine that most days they made it and some days they didn’t.
So what attracted me to look at and write about Rosa? I would say that I resonate too with part of her struggle, as being discriminated against as a woman – less pay than a man doing the same job as me, as an example. I also empathise with the whole race discrimination issue, still current today. But I relate more to her rebellious attitude, her determination and her bravery to stand up for change.
How do I see Rosa moving through her life? Upright and confident, the way to walk through the world, looking forwards, not back, unapologetic - owning her will, her heart and her body. The joy of meeting the world head on, with eye contact. The joy of the ride, holding her fear, curious, moving on, interacting as she goes, or not.
I can certainly relate to meeting the world with eye contact ‘most days’, more so at the tender age of sixty than I did when I was younger. I care less presently about the opinion of others because we are all finding our way through life and what other people think is actually none of my business. I can be less self-righteous these days (sometimes) and more accepting of other people’s points of view. Although I own my limitations when communicating with bigots. Some days I need to breathe very deep.
I do care passionately about human and animal rights, equality, and environmental care and try to accept that those things are not everyone’s passion.
So, who's your heroine, hero or role model?
And how are you like them?
What matters to you?
Take the time out to find out and write.
Jacqui Smith, writing for wellbeing tutor in Berkshire UK